


Stoned Park

by Everfreed



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M, Weed, dont stare at it too long or it gets uglier, established kyman, its about stan and cartman stoned and also kyman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-08-28 01:46:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16714177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Everfreed/pseuds/Everfreed
Summary: Cartman and Stan visit Kyle after smoking a lot of weed.(this is short and bad)





	Stoned Park

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this for a discord server (farts)

"Dude, you fuckin' reek," Kyle spits out as Cartman tumbles his way through the door with a laugh. Stan shortly follows, having the decency to kick the snow off his boots before we walks on the carpet he just vacuumed. Kyle swings the door closed, and turns to see that his two friends have already parked themselves on his couch.

"We smoked _a lot_ of weed, Kyle," Stan wheezes, trying to adjust himself amongst decorative pillows.

"I know, I smelt it."

"Shut up, asshole," Cartman interjects as he swings his feet over an armrest. He's smiling, though, so the curse loses some bite.

"You jackasses can't get high with Kenny and then come veg out in my living room. Find something productive to do," Kyle says. Although, as he says this, he turns on the xbox and sits on the floor. Sufficient to say he's prepared to resign to their adequate, if somewhat smelly, company. It's not like his family was home - so there won't be a need to placate his furious mother or obnoxiously curious little brother. "Can't you get high at your own houses?"

Stan frowns and sits up. "You know I can't. Shelly's a bitch and a snitch. A _snitchin' bitch_ ," he says seriously. Cartman laughs, keeps laughing, and then sits up and tries to take the controller from Kyle as he navigates his console.

"What?! Quit it, fatass -- i'm trying to start up Halo!" 

"No way, it's time to watch funny infomercials. I'm not up to watch you be shitty at video games right now, " Cartman insists with a self satisfied chuckle.

"It's my xbox, i'll do what I want," Kyle bites back. The redhead turns his head to for help from his best friend- instead, he's treated to the sight of Stan getting up wandering into the kitchen. _Asshole!_ Leaving Kyle to fend for himself against an extra-unreasonable Cartman.

  
"Stan! Don't eat the rest of our pizza rolls!" Kyle shouts as he hears Stan pop something into the microwave; he keeps an arm between himself and Cartman as he begins to reach for the controller in Kyle's hands. He realizes that he's alone to to deal with an extra-unreasonable Cartman and an distractible Stan. Lost in thought and resigned to his shit lot, however, Cartman took the opportunity to force himself on top Kyle and send the xbox controller tumbling from his hand. He gasps; Cartman braces his hands against the ground beside each of Kyle's shoulders; using an (admittedly) impressive amount of arm strength to lower himself inches from his face.

It's a .. provocative position, to say the least; and Cartman's piercing blue eyes are suddenly so close to his that he almost gasps. They're pretty red and kinda puffy, but all it does it emphasize his gruff features - he looks dangerous and attractive; but Kyle can't tell him that, of course. "Get off me, stupid! Stan is here," he whispers harshly instead. He reaches out uselessly for the xbox controller, but Cartman wraps his fingers around his and moves Kyle's straying hand to his waistband. Kyle swallows roughly; Cartman laughs huskily and it _does things_ to Kyle. 

"I just wanna be close to you," he says seriously. There's a faint smile on his lips, and it takes a considerate amount of energy for Kyle not to smash their mouths together then and there. When Cartman's high, certain qualities of his peak; his abrasiveness erodes just slightly, and words leave his mouth before he can manipulate them. The passion and artistry he usually buries bubbles to the surface and it's uncanny - but charming. Kyle is dazed by the heat and tension, and the same time that Cartman leans down nuzzle at his neck enticingly, he hears Stan close the fridge from the next room and begins a halfhearted effort to escape.

"Okay, okay, but.. l-look, we can't do this with Stan here, " he manages to say quietly, but sternly.  
  
"So make him leave."  
  
Kyle tries to reply, but suddenly theres a mouth kissing at the exposed skin of his neck, and a choked whimper leaves him instead. He's feeling hot, and the musky smell of marijuana and Cartman's usual scent is stealing his breath by the moment. Stan makes more noise in the kitchen, and it sounds _closer_ , and Kyle is still pinned under Cartman and he shouldn't be (even if he _wants_ to be.)  
  
"Then get off of me and _kick him out!_ " Kyle snaps, louder than he should. There's no guarantee Stan didn't hear him.

He still feels dizzy when Cartman sits up and slides off of him, sitting on his knees and looking at Kyle with wide eyes. His expression is astonished - eyebrows at his shaggy hairline, pudgy mouth hung open slightly. "You were really gonna kick Stan out so we could bone?" He looks genuinely flattered. He promptly gets punched in the dick.  
  
Stan walks back into the room, plate in hand; he's greeted with Cartman's agonizing groans, Kyle's angry rambling, and the distinct feeling that he missed something. His stomach growls and he eats a pizza roll and then gets distracted by Ike's terrible macaroni art on the wall.  
  
"Aha, this sucks dude," Stan laughs.  
  
"My dick is going to fall off," Cartman wheezes.  
  
"Never come here when you're high again," Kyle grits.


End file.
